Saturday, 22 August 2009
The tooth fairy forgot to visit on a regular basis.
I still have my school reports, not convinced I could put my hand to theirs.
I talk to their friends (big sin, big,big sin)
I did not take the day off work to accompany either child to get A' level or GCSE results.
I cheat at Jenga.
I have been known to sing (and horror of horrors dance)in publicWhen they were young I used to sleep with my fingers in my ears - allegedly. (I am sure the picture above was photo shopped)
And do you know ? Despite this benign neglect, (not once did I congratulate them for breathing, walking or even using a knife and fork) they have turned into jolly nice people.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
BC had come down from his room on a fridge raid, but stopped off to romp with the lunatic hound, one thing led to another and at 1am BC stumbled back upstairs,
"I'm bleeding". I have to admit my head went under the pillow for a moment, maybe I hadn't heard.
"Mu-um, there's quite a lot of blood" .........................and then the clincher.
"It's dripping on the floor"
By this time Silent One had woken up and gone to investigate. when he found a length of BC's scalp with hair attached (I kid you not) on the floor things became a little more urgent. The dog was beside himself with guilt and was prostrate on the floor, BC was being stoic and Silent One proved his worth by disposing of the evidence.
A&E was not too busy, but the nurse decided his scalp needed to be checked by plastics, so we were sent home with enough bandaging to do a remake of The Mummy and an invitation to return the next morning.
When seen by plastics the decision was made to do clever, gruesome embroidery which I shall tell you nothing about because it makes me feel quite poorly. Not normally squeamish in the slightest, but this was my baby . Then there followed multiple check ups to make sure no brains were escaping (how would they tell ?) and the healing was going well.
After two sets of antibiotics, sutures, clips and glue BC is mended although he will have a Heidleburg quality scar on his brow for the rest of his life. Here's hoping he can think of a story that involves beautiful maidens, swarthy villains and derring do. Being BC it will be a functional recitation of events.......................... if you want embellishment rely on his mother.
Saturday, 8 August 2009
Woken me at 5am to let me know someone walked past the house
Chewed a corner off the rug
Pushed me off the sofa
Eaten my breakfast when I turned away for half a moment
Stood between me and the television at a crucial moment of "Project Runway"
given me a huge halitosis "kiss"
He did however, apparently, return when called, when Silent One took him on a walk this morning and that alone redeems all the sins listed above.
The Hound of the Baskervilles runs wild and free