Saturday, 22 August 2009

The guilt, the guilt

I read a lot of wonderful blogs, many of which are written by women with young children detailing their lives and learning curves. Oh, the memories, the joy in their children. The rueful smiles and blissful hugs. They do instil in me a measure of guilt though. I have realised my parenting skills leave much to be desired and listed below are a few of my "less nurturing" moments from the last 20 years.

I plunge into sleep before they are home and if I do wake when they get back, I complain about being woken.

Any chocolate left in the kitchen is fair game.

I put their clothes in the washing machine when I want to, which is not necessarily when they need them.

When they were young it was not unknown for me to eat treats I had purchased for them 2 or 3 times before the children actually got them. Cadburys buttons a speciality.

I refused to write a essay for a module in GC's Graphics A level.

If they are home at suppertime I will feed them, if they aren't, I don't.

I always have used a "riper" vocabulary than perhaps I should in front of them, resulting in the family story of my small boy from back of car asking "so, which car are the dozy tossers in Mummy ?"

The tooth fairy forgot to visit on a regular basis.

I still have my school reports, not convinced I could put my hand to theirs.

I talk to their friends (big sin, big,big sin)

I did not take the day off work to accompany either child to get A' level or GCSE results.

I cheat at Jenga.

I have been known to sing (and horror of horrors dance) in public

When they were young I used to sleep with my fingers in my ears - allegedly. (I am sure the picture above was photo shopped)

And do you know ? Despite this benign neglect, (not once did I congratulate them for breathing, walking or even using a knife and fork) they have turned into jolly nice people.


So Lovely said...

You must have done a few things right, I'm sure. To this day, my mother has no idea what time any of her 4 children were born. And of course there is no trace on our birth certificates. Honestly I'm not really that bothered but my first nutcase job in the US was working for an astrologer who wanted to "do my charts". First question "what time were you born", ooerr...dunno!

justme said...

Sounds like perfect parenting to me! Much like my own......LOL!

The Nag said...

I am guilty of all but one of the above. I never ate my kids' treats but that was only because I don't care for sweets. Otherwise I'm certain I would have devoured them with no hesitation. I deny all responsibility for my children's flaws and blame my long suffering husband instead.

Angela Montague said...

Ha! Only last week the tooth fairy forgot to leave some money. Sweets left also fair game in this house (if you've left them you clearly do not value them) and 7am DVDs selected for length, not quality.

Nene said...

Made me laugh too. Just as The Nag, I am guilty of all but the one with the sweets.

When my older son was small he either shocked the teachers with his "premature" knowledge or delighted them. Still remember one teacher calling me and telling me that my son instantly recognised a Van Gogh, when she brought a reproduction into class. And turned around and - with undisguised joy - told the rest of the class that Van Gogh cut his own ear off.

Helena Halme said...

This is so funny, I too am guilty of many items on your list, especially the chocolate & treat eating...

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