Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Neuroses writ large


I do realise that one of the most tedious things in the world is when someone says "I had an amazing dream last night". After a cursory "really?" most of us will start looking for the closest escape route, so I apologise, in advance. I just feel this story gives a very accurate view of the squeaky doom merchant I am, remember, scientia est potentia.

Some non specified apocalypse had occurred and I was trying to collect together useful items to spirit away to the woods, all carried in my re-cycleable Waitrose bags (easy to pack and padded handles so you can carry more - see how prepared my sub-conscious is).

Paracetamol

Scissors - do I need 1 or 2 pairs, large or small ?

Loo roll ? No, too bulky

Plasters

String, natural and plastic

Sellotape - don't be stupid you aren't going to be wrapping many birthday presents !

And so it went on; I was rather pleased with the way unconscious me knew where so many things were, believe me, in the waking world every day will involve shouting and random drawer opening as vital items are vainly searched for. Still, other than the fact I was very worried I had no gun and knew I was going to have to rely on a huge Sabatier to fend off marauders, things seemed to be going well.

Then I woke up, which should have been a good thing really, no apocalypse, family safe in their beds, bailiffs over the horizon. But no, I continued to plan my survival list ! Lying in bed, still shaking, I was trying to remember where the hammers were, which nails to take and would blankets be better than a quilt ?

The Voice of Reason (quite strident, after years of CBT) kept saying

"No apocalypse, there is no apocalypse !! Look out of the window, see, night time, you are in bed, it was a dream"
"You just don't understand, how will I manage without conditioner ? Oh God, I forgot matches" "Shut up, it was a dream - you are bloody mad" and so on.

Twenty minutes later the V of R finally got the upper hand, my pulse returned to normal, and I decided having woken early to put the time to good use.

I had a cup of coffee.

4 comments:

justme said...

not mad at all! Well, sounded normal enough to me? I am well impressed with your girl scout type skills too!

Titian red said...

Disaster preparation preparedness has been a regular source of entertainment through sleepless nights.Where I ever to be enobled my motto would have to be "But, what if...?"

pinklea said...

This is actually very familiar to me. I spent many hours as a child, playing disaster scenarios with my brother. I was in charge of supplies and I vividly remember listing for him everything we would need, from blankets down to a gas lantern and my dad's first aid kit.

Of course, now I am completely unprepared should anything awful happen ...

Cheap Old School RS Gold said...

I expended much time as a youngster, actively playing disaster conditions with my sibling. I used to be in command of items and I vividly bear in mind listing for him every little thing we might require, from blankets right down to a fuel lantern and my dad's emergency first aid kit.
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